Devious Journal Entry

I thought I'll train painting, but my work is exhausting, because I do not want to exercise paintings. Options exhibitions in the gallery should be bought for big money contract. Everywhere it sells human soul for money. Human creativity is redeemed dreamless night. What is it all? Into the maw of a consumer society ?? I do not want to be eaten by evil. I want to generate light. But evil pulls me into the mud oblivion.